“A little Bit Personal, A Little Bit Professional”


         We will be returning to my soul searing examination of my flaws and deficiencies in our next little cyber rally. Today I have some other issues which I need to address. Some of these issues are bad and some are good, but in typical Josh style even the good ones have some bad connotations.

            I mean would it be me writing this if it was all sunshine and puppy dogs?

            So, two major things happened in my life this week. Both of them are potential game changers and one of them was a definite heart breaker. Also I’m been fighting the cold demon “Phlemlor” all week. He is a wily and sticky opponent but I’ve managed to keep him at bay long enough to do a little writing and feel bad for myself.

            Again, this is Josh.

            Alright bitches, moving on.

            The first thing that happened was the worst and also the heartbreaking one. I’ve worked here at the day job (at night) for going on 5 years if you forget about the four month vacation I took back in 2011. Except the first 10 months after my “Time in Tahiti” my supervisor has been one person, Kelly.

            On Tuesday February 11, 2014 Kelly quit her job.

            Her reasons, although known to me, are not mine to share. Suffice it to say it was necessary and not a decision she made lightly. Kelly is/was the single best Boss I’ve ever had. In fact she is the only person I’ve used the term “Boss” about and not meant it as a backhanded compliment. She knew how to handle people, she knew how to juggle chaos, and she knew how to wrangle a department manager who has no concept what her employees actually do and assumes we are all out to lie to her and fuck her over.

            Kelly kept us sane.

            Kelly was/is my friend.

            Now she is gone and I have no idea what I am going to do. Our “Manager” has decided she is going to directly run our department for a few months (she has three other departments one of which she also has decided to run directly after the supervisor was promoted). This has already lead to a slowdown in productivity as she monkeys with an operation which didn’t need any fine tuning. Add to that the feeding frenzy amongst employees who have begun kissing her ass because they want the supervisor’s position and it’s fair to say that if I didn’t work by myself in the afternoons I’d have to cut a bitch, maybe two or three bitches just to be safe.

            Just to be clear I DO NOT WANT THE JOB.

            Was that clear enough?

            I fear I may be forced into throwing my hat in the ring. There I one person in our entire sprawling department I’d be comfortable having as my supervisor and she is vacillating on whether or not she’d be willing to do it. On the other the one person I would NOT want as my “Boss” in fact the single worst candidate I could possibly imagine has been campaigning hard for the job and subtly, or not so subtly, intimidating people who may want the position. He’s kinda crazy and he’s a bully. I don’t want to be forced to butt heads with the thick browed jackass just to keep my sanity.

            Did I mention my writing space?

            Yeah work is my writing space.

            Over the last 5 years 85% of all my writing has been done in my Bosses office. Kelly never cared that I wrote in her office and that I MAY have taken extra time to write when I should have been working. A lot of that might be because I NEVER ONCE neglected my responsibilities for my passions. Also I think she got a thrill whenever I presented her with a paperback book written in her office.    

            When I was on my four month vacation I wrote almost nothing. A lot of that had to do with my depression and personal struggles but it was also because I’d lost my work space. I am not a particularly superstitions person but I do believe it is easier for me to write in some places than in others and the single best place for writing I’ve ever found is Kelly’s office/former office.

            As the department manager makes changes to the office and makes it her own the energy seems to be leaving. Of I’m not overreacting and saying I soon won’t be able to write anymore. I’ve honed my craft over the years and I can crank words at a good clip in the dentist’s office with a bunch of hyper kids running around. But some of the magic has left my sphere and I think I will need to find a new “perfect place” to create.

            That being said I’m going to start scamming as much time at the day job for my writing as possible. Kinda hard to work above and beyond for someone I can’t respect let alone tolerate for more than a few minutes. Still I’ll do my job, I always have, and I always will.

            Until I start making enough money writing and I decide to leave.

            Now for the better news, because damn writing all of that kinda pissed me off.

            It is official, as I look at my bank statement this minute, I will be exhibiting at Gen Con 2014 in Indianapolis Indiana this August. It will be four days of shaking hands and trying to convince my fellow geeks and nerds to buy my books. I have dreamed of doing this for a long time. In 2008 I worked Gen Con as an employee/Freelancer for Palladium Books and aside from dealing with someone’s psycho management style it was a fucking blast!

            The last two years I’ve attended as a patron and soaked it in. It was great and I had a wonderful time but I did it while being jealous at all of the indie publishers and writers who were schmoozing, networking, and meeting their fans.

            So I took the plunge. I pestered the Gen Con planners for details. I was ready like a lynx on the day table applications opened up. And when the page changed from closed to open I pounced on that motherfucker and mauled it like an abusive zookeeper.

            Yesterday I got my confirmation.

            Today they took my money.

            Now it’s real… and I am sweating bullets.

            I need money. I know it sounds obvious but I need quite a bit of money. If I want to do this right and maybe make a little money at the convention I need three things I’ve never needed before.


1) I need a banner, some signage, and a table skirt. I want to look as professional as possible and have an attractive table that draws people over. I’ve been pricing these things and for decent quality it can be pretty pricey. I am not looking to put on a show and make my table look like a killed a clown and strewn its pieces wily nily around the convention floor but I’d like to at least look like I know what the fuck I am doing.


2) I need to rent a van. In order to transport the books and swag I will be selling and the stuff for the table I need transport for a total of 6 days and 5 nights.


3) I need stuff! I have to order prints of all of the books I am planning to sell. I need to order the swag I intend to give away. This stuff is NOT cheap even in bulk it’s still going to cost.


            So to sum it up, I think this is the single best opportunity I’ve had in my writing career. I am about to have exposure to more than 40,000 potential readers not mention an opportunity to network with other writers and publishers. I am considering do a crowd funding campaign in order to raise the capital to finance the trip.


            I said I’d never do that again. I “Kick Started” the beginning of my business and I don’t regret it but I think I’ve done well reinvesting the profits and building my brand but I’ve been afraid of taking in money that should go to someone else who’s just trying to start their dream. That being said I will be announcing the new crowd funding campaign this weekend.

            Okay, that’s it. It’s Valentine’s day so go get laid or something.






Josh Hilden

When I was born on August 3, 1976 in the great state of Michigan the hills shook and the sky was swept with fire. These were portents of the greatness for my future that was written in the stars ... I'm still waiting for that greatness. My name is Josh Hilden and I am many things. I am a husband, a father, a son, a friend. These are all important things but at my core I am an artist and the medium that I work in is words. I am a writer of Horror, Science Fiction, Drama, and Role Playing Games. I worked for Palladium Books (www.palladiumbooks.com) and Third Eye Games (www.thirdeyegames.net) before striking out on my own and founding a small press publishing company Gorillas with Scissors Press (www.gwspress.com). I also work for Fat Goblin Games (www.fatgoblingames.com). In the everyday world I can be found spending time with my family and friends. I have been married to my lovely wife Karen since 1996 and we have six amazing children. We tend to be a family of unabashed geeks and gamers who were geek before geek was chic. If you are really interested in me I am very active online with a personal and a writing blog along with a plethora of social media outlets. If you have any questions or just want to chat hit me up!