Favorite New Thing 1: “Zombie Royal Wedding”


        This is the first installment of a new series. Every day we see things online and in the real world that blows our minds, turns us on, or makes us giggle. I want to share a few of these with you and explain what I love about them. I hope to do one of these a week but let’s be honest, I am a mercurial essayist so I might do 3 in a week and then not touch it for months.

        We’ll see how it goes.


        I saw this picture for the first time on Thursday September 11, 2014.



        The artist, Tess Fowler Gutierrez (http://www.tessfowler.com), is one of my all time favorites and I am shocked I never came across this one until now. She posted it as a “Throwback Thursday” picture on her Facebook account and I was blown away by it and immediately made it the wallpaper on my phone.

        So why is this piece my new favorite thing?

        You all know I am a freak when it comes to zombies. I broke into the writing world based on my love and knowledge of the genre. Love my work or hate it you have to admit it is my raison d’être. So of course I am a sucker for good original zombie art.

        But why did I choose this one?

        Something not many people know about me, at least before the publication of this essay, is that I am a Royal Junkie. I mean I seriously Jones on the British Royal family like some people obsess on the fucking Kardashians.

        I blame my mom, and not in a bad way.

        When Charles and Dianna were married I was just a few days shy of five years old. It was a warm summer in south eastern Michigan and I remember all of the windows in the house were open. Mom had the television tuned into the wedding and at first I was less than pleased.

        This was my gods damned cartoon time!

        In order to placate me mom let me have an entire bottle of ice cold Pepsi, her drink of choice, and with that I settled in and prepared to be bored. But oh boy I was far from bored. From the costumes, to the pageantry, to the amazing buildings (this is the first images of London I can remember observing) I was hooked.

        I’m not saying I fell in love with Diana Spencer that day… but I’m not NOT saying it either.

        In the years following the Royal wedding I learned everything I could about the British Royals past and present. The more I learned the more I wanted to know. It was damn near a perpetual motion machine of interest. Even in the years when it appeared the family was falling apart I was always rooting for them.

        I could go on and on but suffice it to say I am a royal Fanboy.

        Now that the back story has been told on to the crux of my new favorite thing.

        I like Prince William and Prince Harry. I truly and honestly hope they are the people they appear to be. Despite any and all youthful indiscretions, and let’s be honest we’ve all fucked up when we were young, they seem like admirable men.

        I watched the progress of William’s relationship with Kate Middleton for years and eventually became, if it’s possible, even more enchanted with them than with his parents. They fascinated me and warmed the cold bitter cockles of my heart. When it was announced they were to be married I was as giddy as a school girl.

        Hey, I’m Bi, I’m allowed to be a little gay about it!

        Unfortunately when William and Kate were married I was working. I managed to catch bits and pieces of the wedding on my phone and on televisions at my day job (at night). Eventually I was able to watch it online and it was a beautiful and marvelous ceremony.

        William was dashing.

        Kate was beautiful.

        Pipa was hot, I’m married not dead and she was hot.

        Harry… meow.

        I am stating right now for the entire world to read, and I don’t give a shit what you think about it, Prince Harry is a devastatingly handsome and dapper young man. I crushed hard on his mother in 1981 and I swooned for him thirty years later.

        In the years since the wedding I’ve waited for the day the William takes the throne. I’m of the opinion that when Elizabeth either passes of steps down it will be William and not Charles who becomes king. With young Prince George fat and happy and Kate once more with child the future of the monarchy looks bright.

        And Harry?

        Well Captain Wales of the Royal Army is kind of a bad ass. I see him going far in this world despite some of the dumber things he’s done. He strikes me as a straight shooter who with some age will be a important man on the world stage.

        Or I could be full of shit. I mean it wouldn’t be the first time.

        Now I want to you take a good look at the picture, really study it. That piece is so exact and so detailed that it feels like the people might jump off of my screen!

        Not to mention the young royals are kicking major ass.

        Seriously, they are surrounded by the reanimated corpses of their family members and wedding guest but do they look like they feel defeated? Fuck no, they are have a look on their faces which screams they are just getting started and that the dead are in deep shit.

        I hope I will be able to one day write something as awesome as this picture looks.

        That is why this picture in my new favorite thing.


        Just a final note before I bid you adieu.

        Since I have a passing acquaintance with Tess online I felt the need to garner her permission before writing and posting this. I didn’t actually fear she’d say no, Tess is awesome and gracious, but I wanted to show the respect she deserved. I asked her if it was okay and I asked when the piece was created.

        This is her response to my request.


“Lol of course you can.

It was created right after the wedding at the suggestion of my friend James Ray. And it was meticulously researched.

I had been watching it live and FBing about it. So as we talked online while it was happening and we were all joking around about the event James threw the idea out there and I ran with it

Took me a few days to gather enough high res photos and then we were off to the races.

It’s all accurate. Right down to the tall nun and small nun in the back.”


        My follow up question was simply, “Did you make prints available for purchase?” To which Tess responded with the following.



“I did originally yes. They were an SDCC exclusive.

Most people understood the political tongue in cheek joke behind the piece but a couple ladies hated it.”


        I love this piece and I love Tess as an artist… just wish I had one of the prints.


- Josh




Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/josh-hilden/e/B0094ACFPA/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1358216534&sr=8-1
Amazon UK Author Page: http://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B0094ACFPA 
Drive Thru Fiction: http://www.drivethrufiction.com/browse.php?author=Josh%20Hilden 
Facebook Author Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/josh-hilden-author/116260821801432 
Google Plus: http://plus.google.com/108367962143408220773/posts 
Mailing List: http://forms.aweber.com/form/03/1103141603.htm 
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Joshhilden  
Twitter: http://twitter.com/josh_hilden 
Website: http://www.joshhilden.com/




Josh Hilden

When I was born on August 3, 1976 in the great state of Michigan the hills shook and the sky was swept with fire. These were portents of the greatness for my future that was written in the stars ... I'm still waiting for that greatness. My name is Josh Hilden and I am many things. I am a husband, a father, a son, a friend. These are all important things but at my core I am an artist and the medium that I work in is words. I am a writer of Horror, Science Fiction, Drama, and Role Playing Games. I worked for Palladium Books (www.palladiumbooks.com) and Third Eye Games (www.thirdeyegames.net) before striking out on my own and founding a small press publishing company Gorillas with Scissors Press (www.gwspress.com). I also work for Fat Goblin Games (www.fatgoblingames.com). In the everyday world I can be found spending time with my family and friends. I have been married to my lovely wife Karen since 1996 and we have six amazing children. We tend to be a family of unabashed geeks and gamers who were geek before geek was chic. If you are really interested in me I am very active online with a personal and a writing blog along with a plethora of social media outlets. If you have any questions or just want to chat hit me up!