We’re Men, We’re Manly Men!

 

Thank God I’m a Man

 

A man should call the toss

Wear the pants, and be the boss

A man should be the drink

For his own damn sake

And men should the misters

And the masters of their sisters

A man should be the reason

For a heart to break

A man should cut the lawn

Change the tire, mend the worn

A man should never wait

To oil a rusting gate

Men should hold the key positions

In our country's great traditions

A man should put the food

Upon the family plate

           

So, be moral

Don't quarrel

Fair and square is best

           

Let me alert you

That virtue won't hurt you

Or desert you

 

If you wear hair on your chest

           

So always remember to follow the rules

 

Box clever

 

And jocks never

 

Hock another jock's tools

 

A man should wax a car

Fix a fuse, and tend the bar

A man should like his brow

To be wet with sweat

Men should know the right occasions

To indulge in tax evasions

A man should know the settings

That his spark plugs get

Faggots are maggots

Thank God I'm a man

 

- Richard O'Brien (Shock Treatment)

 

            There was a time back in the early days of internet bulletin boards and forum posting - remember threaded forums? Those were good times - when I was always down for a good fight. I wasn’t a troll even by the loosest of definitions. At the worst, I was a pot stirrer who liked to see blowhards, racists, and liars look dumb. Okay maybe I was a troll, but I like to think I used my powers for good and not evil. But then I grew up, or at least I tried to.

            I’ll be honest, if you’ve been reading my essays for any length of time you know I enjoy a good train wreck. But you might also know I try to refrain from personal attacks. I’m not always successful, and I’m the first to admit that, but more often than not I manage to keep the real names of people out of my essays when they are portrayed in a less than glowing light.

            I really, Really, REALLY wanted to break that policy today. But I won’t. Let me be clear it’s not because I’m a total puss-hole, I am a partial puss-hole and I will ask you to remember that thank you very much! That being said I’m still gonna stir the pot and see what breaks loose and rises to the top… here we go.

            I was reading the comments on friends Facebook post last night and came across this little gem in response to the Syrian refugees. This is a direct quote (punctuation and spelling) but I am leaving the posters name off. Of course, some of you will probably figure it out but since he posted it online that’s his problem. Although considering the shit this person vomits across the infosphere, he’d probably enjoy the attention.

            There are many, many more people like him clogging the information superhighway - kids ask your parents what this is - but I’m going to let this profound jackass stand for all of them in my rant.

 

            “More than half the refugees world wide are children, but not more than half who went to Europe, the vast majority of those are men, and young men at that.

            I for one do think it is men's responsibility to stand and fight for ones homeland, whatever your side may be, pick it and fight. Please don't tell me I don't know what is like, because you have no idea what my life has been like.

            Men's entire reason for existence is to stand between women and children and the enemy at the gate. If your a man, and you have abandoned those very same women and children so you could found a "better" place while they suffer and die. Then fuck you, I hope you have a short miserable life.

            And don't give me that shit about Assad, these people are upper middle class because of Assad, they are those who benefit the most from his rule.

            If you way the kings bread, be loyal to the king, or at least have the courage to openly rebel. But I have 0 respect for one who lives off a regime for decades and then runs away when things get tough.”

 

            Did you read it? If you said yes and don’t see the big deal I implore you to read it again. If after a second reading you still don’t see what’s wrong with this please do us all a favor and exit stage left, or right—I’m not picky, because what comes next will hold no interest for you. Come back next week when I start talking about bad movies and gay stuff again. I promise it’ll be more fun.

            I am going to do something I NEVER do, I’m gonna parse this drivel into sections and address each one individually. I promise to try and be logical, but I’ll most likely degenerate into name calling in a scatological humor. Hey, I’m still Josh.

 

            “More than half the refugees world wide are children, but not more than half who went to Europe, the vast majority of those are men, and young men at that.

 

            Utter and complete bullshit! Don’t believe me? Allow me to link Fact Check.org so you can get some REAL information.

 

http://www.factcheck.org/2015/09/stretching-facts-on-syrian-refugees/

 

            So as you can see Mister I’m-smarter-than-everyone-else-in-the-fucking-room starts out with right wing lies—I mean talking points. Of course if you’ve ever dealt with him or the legion of jack-holes like him, you probably already knew this was going to happen. It’s as natural for them as breathing. Do I sound like an enraged liberal yet? Good, because I fucking am!

            Alright, moving on.

 

            I for one do think it is men's responsibility to stand and fight for ones homeland, whatever your side may be, pick it and fight. Please don't tell me I don't know what is like, because you have no idea what my life has been like.

 

            First let me address the last part. I assume that since you brag of your education, you live in the United States of America, and act like a self-entitled, know it all, piece of shit that you really have no idea what’s it like. Yes, I give you that I don’t know you and sir I NEVER want to know you. But unlike you, I’m an open book, I will share everything and anything and frankly I’ll judge the fuck out of you. Don’t like it, do something about it.

            Now I am going to make another assumption based solely on this post and the various other non-private posts of yours I’ve read over the years. If you are not a card-carrying member of the Men's Rights Activist (MRA) community you are very sympathetic to them. You assume these “Men” because of course we haven’t already seen most of the refugees are woman and children, those pesky things called facts and all, have to fight for one monster (Assad) or another (ISIS) in order to be men.

            Fuck you. I’d like to see what you’d do in their situation with all of your big talks. Actually I bet you’d happily side with the faction that gives you the most power and control. Just a deduction on my part, but it’s based on you own statements now and in the past.

 

            Men's entire reason for existence is to stand between women and children and the enemy at the gate. If your a man, and you have abandoned those very same women and children so you could found a "better" place while they suffer and die. Then fuck you, I hope you have a short miserable life.

 

            All of this based once more on the FALSE notion that it’s mostly young, single men—again I know those pesky facts. But wow, wishing death, you are a hell of a Christian I’m sure Jesus is soooooo fucking proud of you right now.

 

            And don't give me that shit about Assad, these people are upper middle class because of Assad, they are those who benefit the most from his rule.

            If you way the kings bread, be loyal to the king, or at least have the courage to openly rebel. But I have 0 respect for one who lives off a regime for decades and then runs away when things get tough.”

 

            I can’t even, I just… wow, you’re an idiot. I’m not even going to try and convince you you’re wrong on this because you’re just a bastard. But I’m a fair guy let’s address that before finishing up anyway.

 

http://www.ibtimes.com/europe-refugee-crisis-facts-wealthy-educated-syrians-risking-lives-leave-war-2089018

 

            And that boils and ghouls is that. I feel better, I don’t think I accomplished anything, but I feel better. I guess that’s something.

 

 

- Josh

 

 

 

LINKS:
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Josh Hilden

When I was born on August 3, 1976 in the great state of Michigan the hills shook and the sky was swept with fire. These were portents of the greatness for my future that was written in the stars ... I'm still waiting for that greatness. My name is Josh Hilden and I am many things. I am a husband, a father, a son, a friend. These are all important things but at my core I am an artist and the medium that I work in is words. I am a writer of Horror, Science Fiction, Drama, and Role Playing Games. I worked for Palladium Books (www.palladiumbooks.com) and Third Eye Games (www.thirdeyegames.net) before striking out on my own and founding a small press publishing company Gorillas with Scissors Press (www.gwspress.com). I also work for Fat Goblin Games (www.fatgoblingames.com). In the everyday world I can be found spending time with my family and friends. I have been married to my lovely wife Karen since 1996 and we have six amazing children. We tend to be a family of unabashed geeks and gamers who were geek before geek was chic. If you are really interested in me I am very active online with a personal and a writing blog along with a plethora of social media outlets. If you have any questions or just want to chat hit me up!