Pride and Secession

Things have been really crazy this year. From the 21st Century demon, we’ve name Rona, to the murder of George Floyd and the resulting outcry. No one could’ve predicted a year ago where we are now.

Amidst the chaos and anger, we’ve almost forgotten it’s pride month.

What is pride?

According to Websters Dictionary (the online version), pride is defined as such:

A feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

Or

Confidence and self-respect as expressed by members of a group, typically one that has been socially marginalized, based on their shared identity, culture, and experience.

Let’s look at two different points of pride, shall we?

LGBTQ Pride might not mean much to the majority of Americans, but to some of us, it’s essential. When I was a kid, I knew I was bisexual even though I didn’t have a word for it. I knew that I was interested in men and women as early as age seven.

When I learned the term gay, via a lot of homophobic slurs and jokes, I felt ashamed of who I was.

Not what I am because I will never be defined by a single trait.

Like everyone else, I am the sum total of my parts.

Pride month was something I NEVER celebrated as a teenager. The idea of being referred to as the Faggot in the family out loud as opposed to the whispered gossip my family is known for was mortifying. Back then, I cared. These days I give zero fucks what any of them think about me.

My coming out was odd.

First, I came out to my therapist when I was 14.

Next, I came out to my Junior Year German teacher. We were very close, and one day she noticed how depressed I was. We had a long talk after school, and in the end, I think she was the first person to encourage me to be who I am and not who others wanted me to be.

After that, I came out to my Aunt and Uncle, my dad, one of my best friends, and my mom. I’m not sure who started the “Did you know Josh is queer?” chain-letter in the family, but I have my suspicions.

I came out to my wife in 2004.

After that, I stayed in the closet for 8 years.

In 2012, after a nervous breakdown, I came out entirely on the internet. The action caused long term damage to a lot of familial relationships, but n the end, I don’t regret it. That coming out was the first step on the road to healing myself. Since then, I traveled quite a way down that road, but the end is still in front of me.

It’s the same end we’re all heading toward.

I’ve taken flack for being LGBTQ, but I push on.

Pride commemorates the Stonewall riots of 1969.

Beginning in the early morning hours of June 28, 1969, and lasting until July 3, the Stonewall riots are the defining moment of the LGBTQ communities fight for equality under the law. It was not just one but a series of spontaneous and violent demonstrations by members of the LGBTQ community, they were in response to a police raid at the Stonewall Inn in the Greenwich Village neighborhood of New York City.

Before Stonewall being Queer in the United States was more often than not illegal. That doesn’t even take into consideration all of the fundamental American rights the Queer community was denied.

After Stonewall, an avalanche descended on the nation.

Opened in 1992, the Gay Liberation Monument is part of the Stonewall National Monument installation. The four statues of Queer Americans, two standing men, and two seated women. They represent the men and women who have fought so hard and too long to secure our equality in a nation that hated us.

I am proud to stand on their shoulders.

I am proud of the strives we’ve made.

I am proud of who I am.

At least I’m proud of almost all of who I am.

I considered myself a born and bred Michigander. And for the most part, that’s true. But tell the truth and shame the devil I’m only a second-generation Midwesterner.

My mom’s entire family is from the south, North Carolina, and Arkansas, respectively.

I have to put it on front street that there’s a lot of my Southern heritage I’m proud of. The food, try and take away my biscuits and gravy, and I’ll cut you, along with the tradition of camping, hunting, and fishing, probably top the list.

But there are other things.

The music, hey, I like country music. The folk tales, my fear of the mosquitos big enough to pick me up and take me to the swamp, still scare me. And the Southern farm life, especially in the mountains of Appalachia where my maternal grandfather is from.

Most of all, I love the Southern hospitality.

But there’s always a flip side to the culture coin.

So, yes, there are things I don’t like.

Things I’m actively ashamed of.

Such as:

Slavery

Jim Crow

Treason

Insurrection

Terrorism

Racism

I could go on, but you get the point (I hope).

Even though I grew up in the north, many members of my mom’s family acted like they still lived in the south, even when they never did in the first place. Confederate flags, the Army of Northern Virginia flag, not the Stars and Bars, was everywhere in my family.

I grew up learning about the lazy, untrustworthy, and mentally deficient African American. About how you couldn’t get an honest day’s work out of them. About how all they ate was watermelon and fried chicken, about the desire of all black men to defile white women. And, the one that will always stick with me, they took the Ronald Reagan bullshit lie of the black “Welfare Queens” and ran it into the ground.

If it wasn’t for my mom, who’s one of the most liberal people I’ve ever known, I might have ended up like them.

Fast forward to now.

The death of George Floyd has reignited the arguments over symbols of the Confederacy. From the flags to the statues, America is almost as outraged by these as it is by the deaths of innocent African Americans at the hands of the police.

To me, it’s not even close, people are more important than symbols.

But the symbols are a disgrace.

What was the Confederacy?

According to History.com:

The Confederate States of America was a collection of 11 states that seceded from the United States in 1860 following the election of President Abraham Lincoln. Led by Jefferson Davis and existing from 1861 to 1865, the Confederacy struggled for legitimacy. It was never recognized as a sovereign nation.

Why did the Southern States secede from America?

Slavery.

That’s the long and short of it. And don’t give me that state’s rights bullshit. It was all about the right to keep and own slaves. The original South Carolina declaration of secession said so, the Vice President of the Confederacy said so, and even the constitution of the Confederacy made sure to enshrine slavery.

Slavery was the cause.

Full stop.

First, let’s address the Army of Northern Virginia Battle Flag (I’m just going to call it “the flag”) and its place in America. After the war, the flag remained a footnote until it was adopted as a symbol in opposition to the post-WW2 civil rights movement. Like a wildfire, the flag spread across the country as a so-called symbol of southern pride, rebellion, and freedom, even amongst people who had no southern blood whatsoever.

So, what is the flag really?

The flag is a racist symbol on par with the Swastika.

I have no desire to see it outlawed on private property, I am a robust first amendment supporter, but it never should have been allowed on public grounds. In the last few months, the Marines and Air Force banned it (the Army did that in the 1990s).

But what about those monuments?

Most monuments to the Confederacy, like the flag, only came into being during the civil rights movement. I dare any of you to show how they weren’t intended to intimidate and stoke fear amongst blacks in the south.

I’ll wait.

You can’t, can you?

Because of the actions of scared southerners (mostly), reminders of the Confederacy are spread across the country. But most of them are in the south. Right now, more than 1500 monuments to the Confederacy stand as a blight on the skin of America. The most egregious, to me, is the giant images of General Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and Jefferson Davis stain the beauty of Stone Mountain in Georgia.

These symbols stand on public ground maintained with federal, state, and local funds.

They serve no purpose and need to be removed.

Are you afraid of “History being erased” or some such Bullshit?

There are no statues or monuments to Hitler and the Nazis in Germany. Have they been forgotten?

Take the damn things down and put the most relevant of them in museums with the PROPER context. Store the rest, or destroy them.

As to that mountain… sandblast that motherfucker.

This pride month. I am proud of how far America has come towards equality. But there’s still a long road ahead of us and reality is we’ll still be walking it when our time comes to handoff to the younger generations.

But it’s a road worth walking for however long it takes.

I am proud to be LGBTQ.

The other?

Not so much.

- Josh (06/26/2020)