All Dogs Go To Sto'Vo'Kor

n the spring of 2014, Alexis “Lexi” Luthor Johnson was born. Lexi was a Red Nose American Pitbull. She was the runt of the littler, something the nurse at the vet’s office called a “Pocket Pittie.” She was my son, Stephens, dog, and no matter how far he slid down the funnel of addiction, he always locked out for her.

In 2018, he finally realized he could no longer take care of her and sent her to live full-time with us. I’d always loved her from the time she was a tiny puppy I could hold in the cup of my hands.

Lexi was the protector of this family. Nobody could even pretend to threaten someone in this family without the barking of a 55-pound pittie who sounded like she was a 105-pound.

She loved the kids. None of them could do any wrong in her eyes.

She loved and defended the grandkids. No one will ever be able to convince me that she wouldn’t have killed for those babies.

I think my friend Brandon said it best, “She was a heckin good doggo.”

Lexi passed away in the early morning hours of Saturday, October 14, 2023.

I don’t believe in a religious afterlife, but I do believe it’s possible that something of us, call it a soul if you want to, goes on after our corporeal form has burned out. After all, energy cannot be created or destroyed. I want to believe we’ll be reunited one day. Like I told her before I went to sleep, on the couch with her lying on the floor next to me.

“Don’t be scared. It’ll be over soon, and you won’t hurt anymore. When you wake up, you’ll see your daddy again. There’ll be fields to run in, and water to swim in, and all of the rabbits you could ever want to chase. I love you.”

What follows are the social media posts I made during the last days of Lexi’s life. I think they encapsulate my thoughts and emotions better than anything else I could write. My perfect pupper is gone, and I miss her so much.

I know I’ve posted a couple times before that the pupper was near the end, but then she bounces back. This time, I don’t think we’re going to luck out again. Even when she’s sleeping, she is struggling to breathe. From now on, I’m sleeping in the living room again to be near her. We will take her out on Saturday and do everything she loves. Then, on Monday, I will call the vet. Even typing that has my eyes watering and my body wanting to vomit. I just love that girl so much. No matter how it goes, here or at the vet’s, I’ll be with her at the end.

-October 11, 2023

Tomorrow is the sad day I’ve been dreading since January. At 9:30 a.m., we’ll be sending Lexi on her final run. She’s been the best dog. Once she’s passed, it’s no more pets for the Hilden Family.

-October 12, 2023

Lexi passed away early this morning. She was at home with the people who loved her. It was peaceful.

-October 13, 2023

I just want to send a heartfelt thank you to all of you who’ve reached out and/or lent your support to my family and me in this time of loss. Some of you may know that Lexi was my son Stephen’s dog. In many ways, she was my last link to him. We were told that Lexi wouldn’t make it past February. She made it to mid-October. We had all those extra months with her, and I cherish every day. Anyway, whether you realize it or not, your love and support have meant the world to me.

-October 13, 2023

We (the family in the house) have decided that our house, especially the backyard, needs a dog to be complete. Also, we feel we’re diminished as a family without one. So, in a few months (say spring), we’re getting a new dog, and it will be a pitbull. But a different type. Lexi was an American Red Nose. We’re thinking of a Blue Pittie.

-October 14, 2023

I keep thinking I’m seeing her out of the corner of my eye, taking her place at the far end of the couch. Or I’m hearing her bark, wanting to be let in after she’s done chasing the rabbits she was never able to catch or, more likely, never wanted to. There’s a pitbull-sized hole in my heart, and I can’t seem to bandage it. Sorry, it's just another middle-aged American fat guy crying over his dog. I’ll bring the sarcasm and the funny later.

-October 15, 2023

Last Lexi update for the duration. I’m not stopping the updates because I’m ashamed or anything. It’s just because I’m all cried out for the foreseeable future. Today was my weekly testosterone injection. Yes, I have low testosterone. I’ve never hidden it, and, once again, not ashamed. Whenever I had one, Lexi would come in barking at whoever was giving it, the Spoose or the youngest boy-child, to protect me. She was never serious. It was a performance, but it made me feel special. Today, there was no barking. She’s really gone.

-October 16, 2023

- Josh (10/19/2023)