Downward Slide

Before I tear into this, I need to preface it with a bit of information. I’m sick, physically sick. I mean, I am seriously physically sick, and it’s all my fault.

To be clear, I don’t blame anyone but myself for what comes next, which is this, hopefully, short essay. I’ve been warned almost my entire life that my lifestyle would lead to this, and I set those warnings aside. I always figured there would be time to correct the course.

Jokes on me.

I’m out of time.

I have debated for the last couple of days If I should reveal this new information or not. Normally, I just jump on the grenade and accept the damage I take in the blast.

This time, I hesitated.

But finally, since I always try to keep my life on Front Street with everything, I decided I might as well go in whole hog. I went to the doctor’s on Friday for the first time. I gave a full, honest accounting of my aches, pains, and symptoms.

So, what’s ailing Old Josh?

First, I messed up my back when I fell down the stairs last year, and she’s sending me for X-rays this week. I’m honestly worried that I did some real damage.

My breathing has been horribly short as of late, and I don’t mean the normal strained breathing of a middle-aged, morbidly obese man either. This is something different. That said, she’s hoping taking off weight will fix the issue.

I hope she’s right.

I’ve been having intermittent chest pains, so they performed an EKG on me then and there. She said there were no issues. I’m going to see a Cardiologist next week, and we will schedule the first available appointment for a stress test.

My feet and hands are, at the same time, mostly numb and burning from the inside out. I’m going for a procedure, I don’t remember what it’s called, next week. Basically, they’re going to put acupuncture needles in my hands and feet, add electricity, and map the nerve sensitivity.

Sounds like fun.

And then there’s the big chuck of gods awful news.

Deep breath... calm down... steady my nerves... I am 326ibs.

This is the heaviest I’ve ever been. My doctor is putting me on Ozempic. I’m not one of those people who see it as a miracle drug, but I am hoping that it will help me get started with the real work of getting healthier.

Did I have to share any of this information?

No.

But I’m Josh Hilden, and I believe in the old adage, “To name it is to claim it.”

We’ll see where I go from here?

I suppose I finally get serious about my weight and fight for my health.

Or I choose a slow death.

- Josh (02/18/2024)