Running Water

I was heading to fix a light on the 12th floor when I heard her.

“Billy the water is the women’s restroom toilet is running again.”

Feeling as if I’d just bitten down on tin foil I stopped halfway into the elevator and sighed. Once again I’d failed to get past Mrs. Rahn without her stopping me. This was going to be painful… it always was. Putting my best professional smile on my face I turned and looked at the old woman sitting on her scooter that cost more than my shitty Nissan.

“Mrs. Rahn the water isn’t running in the toilet, it’s the water main in the wall you’re hearing.” I said trying not to sound as irritated as I was. For the last six months it’s been the same thing. Every time I passed through the first floor lobby and Mrs. Rahn was there she would lock her eyes on me and the complaints would start.

          Billy, it’s too hot in here.

          Mrs. Rahn, the temperature is the same as it always is.

          Billy, my laundry is late coming back.

          Mrs. Rahn, I’m maintenance not housekeeping or laundry.

          Billy, my television isn’t working.

          Mrs. Rahn, you have to keep fresh batteries in your remote.

          Billy, I don’t like the colors on these walls.

          Mrs. Rahn…

Yeah that has been my life since moving to second shift. I made the change in order to make an extra dollar an hour and get away from direct supervision. What I’d not counted on was that now I was the only maintence man for the residents of the retirement community to complain to.

Eleanor Rahn was the queen of the complainers. The 92 year old Paper Heiress was unable to walk but everything else worked just fine. Especially her vile and sarcastic mouth which she never seemed to be able to close for five seconds.

“It is not the god damned water main!” she screeched in response.

In the last month she’d dropped every other complaint and fixated on this one. We’d spent several hundred thousand dollars over the summer re-piping the complex. This had resulted in cleaner water and dramatically higher water pressure. The increased pressure had resulted in being able to hear the water flow behind the restroom walls.

Mrs. Rahn was convinced it was the toilet running constantly and that we were wasting money not fixing it. She’d reported me to my supervisor seven times for failing to do anything about it. I’d been told to humor her because she was such a big contributor to the church that owned the community.

“Mrs. Rahn we’ve been through this. It’s just the water main.” I said knowing it would have no effect. I expected her to start threatening me again but instead she did something new.

“Come with me!” She ordered shifting her scooter into drive and heading for the restrooms.

“Oh fuck me” I said a little too loud.

“And I will be reporting your potty mouth too!” She yelled back at me.

No problems with the bitch’s ears.

I followed her through the wheelchair sized door and to the back stall. The very one with the water main flowing behind it. My heart was racing and my hands kept clenching and unclenching.

“I know even a moron like you can hear that Billy” she said grinning that superior perfect denture framed smile.

“Please Eleanor, it’s just the water flowing through the main” I pleaded with her trying hard to keep the rage in check.

“Listen you fat idiot if you don’t do something about this toilet I will have you fired!” She yelled back at me.

My hand was on the back of her head and holding her down in the toilet bowl before I knew what I was doing. That didn’t mean I stopped, I just didn’t know I was going to do it until I did.

“You hear that you old bitch!” I screamed as her upper body thrashed and her lower remained limo. “You hear that water running now?”

She stopped thrashing.

I went back to work. There was a light on 12 to fix.

The End