The World is a Blur

Here's an update on my eye situation.

I went to the ophthalmologist today, and I got a full load of tests dilation all that crap. Here's what it comes down to. My eyes are cloudy and hard to See out of because I have Ruptured blood vessels behind them. The rupturing is coming from pressure due to my diabetes, and there's no reversing it. The best they can do is treat it for as long as possible, and that involves a series of injections in my Eyes.

If any of you know me, you know I'm absolutely terrified of anything even touching my eyes. I told the doctor there was nothing happening. His response if it doesn't happen, I go blind sooner rather than later.

The sooner rather than later part was what freaked me out. I'm going to go blind. It's pretty much a done deal. It'll either be a year from now, 10 years from now or maybe 25 years from now.

Eventually, I'm going to be blind.

This has been hard to digest. I have an appointment Monday. Where they're going to numb me with drops and then use needles in the blowout. Then they're going to give me drops to you to hopefully keep the blood vessels small. Eventually, they will become ineffective, and the blood vessels become too engorged

And then my condition would deteriorate quickly.

I don't know if there's much more I want to say about this. I'm still in shock. I'm currently writing this via Speech to text Because of the blood in my eyes that makes typing hard at best and excruciating at worst. Hopefully, I can learn to use this properly because, in the future, it's going to be the only way I can facilitate more than a tweet.

I'm going to miss feeling the keys under my fingertips. The very idea is depressing. It's one of my favorite sounds in the world.

I guess that's enough the one you like today. Unless, of course, you’re not interested in then you can just avoid these posts.

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Josh (10/01/2021)