Happy Birthday, Little Brother

Today is my middle brother’s birthday. If we were young now, we would’ve referred to as frenemies. We played together a lot. We argued like two old church ladies. We fought one another a lot. But we also had each other’s backs. This was our dance until I was seventeen and he was thirteen,

He’s 43 now.

Now, a little context for constant readers and newbies alike. I suppose you need it so that this doesn’t sound like anything more than a bunch of nonsense. This is the brother I haven’t talked to since 2011. The cause of our falling out stopped being relevant to me, and I suppose to him, many years ago. Needless to say, it was intense and ended in harsh words, flipped tables (metaphorical tables), and hurt feelings.

Fast forward twenty-two years, more or less, and we are forced to be in proximity to one another. The event was our maternal grandmother’s funeral earlier this spring. Things were quiet, and my apprehension that we’d be forced into an awkward conversation with one another was dispelled. We didn’t actively avoid one another, but we never spoke or made eye contact.

Afterward, things were slightly different.

There were, and still are, issues that needed discussing following the funeral. Therefore our baby brother set up a group text for just three of us. We exchanged a few texts about dealing with my mother and grandfather’s situations after my grandmother died, but that was a couple of months ago. As of today, our planning for taking care of Mom is on hold. She’s doing ok, and I’m here in Dayhton if she needs help. My baby brother is in Columbus, and my middle brother is in Detroit.

There was a point in the recent (5 – 10 years or so) past when I was angry with him, but that burned out a long ago. Now I feel quiet toward him. I feel no ill will and also no genuine desire to interact. I wish him and his family ONLY good things, but I’m more or less neutral.

I’d talk to him if he talked to me, but I feel no impulse to contact him. We have always been two very different people, and we clashed a lot when we were younger.

I’m honestly pleased that he has a good life. I want him and his people to live long and be happy.

Happy Birthday, Little Brother. I hope it was a good one.

- Josh (06/16/2023)