Hi, my name is josh, and I live with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

I've lived with OCD my entire life and didn't realize it until the movie As Good As It Gets came out. The movie, starring Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt, and Greg Kinnear, won many awards and brought the very real condition of OCD into the country's consciousness. In the movie, Jack Nicholson stars as a man with severe OCD trying to live his life and balance his desire for human relationships.

It's a really good movie. It holds up, and you should check it out.

After watching the movie, I took stock of all of my exhausting ticks and habits. the things that people sometimes noticed and were often annoyed by. The things I did that I never understood. The heavy baggage I'd carried my entire life and mistakenly thought was perfectly normal. The things that made me miserable that I believed were completely normal.

In no particular order, here are my most prominent and detrimental ticks.

The need to line up objects at right angles, even stacks, and in straight lines, no matter who they belong to.

Running my right hand along walls, handrails, and touching all objects as I walk.

Rechecking tasks I've completed multiple times to make sure they are still finished.

Always changing people's toilet paper and changing it if it's in the underhand, not the overhand, position.

Everything has to have a place, or I'll throw it away.

Counting all of the different kinds of objects I see.

This one is the worst, the most anxiety-inducing tick I have.

Numbers.

However, when I encountered numbers, i.e., volume control, speedometer, alarm settings, and so many other variables, there is one rule.

Any prime number, other than one or three, for a reason I've never been able to discern, makes me so uncomfortable I've been known to get a migraine.

Even numbers calm me and help me center myself, but there's only one number combination I'm 100% comfortable with. That would be five and all of its multiples.

As long as it's base five, it's always good.

For a long time, living with OCD was exhausting and often stretched me to my breaking point. It wasn't until I was in my early thirties and sought treatment for my numerous mental health issues that I mentioned my OCD. Once I was properly medicated and balanced, my OCD ebbed.

It ebbed, but didn't go away.

The sad fact is that it will never disappear.I still have the same ticks, but I have more conscious control over them. When I catch myself actively falling back into the old habits, I have the tools to dig myself out before I get caught in a spiral. I am now more or less able to handle my OCD and live my life.

I still have my good days and my bad days.

Mostly good these days.

- Josh (01-22-2026)