September is both Bisexual Visibility Month and Suicide Prevention Month.

Both are pertinent to me.

I dipped my first toe into coming out as Bi the summer I turned 17. It did not go well, which led to my first massive bout of crippling depression. That depression led to my first suicide attempt. I spent six weeks in a mental health facility, aka the Nut House.

It was a dark time in my life.

I spent my senior year digging a dark hole in the closet and stayed there, more or less, until 2012.

I came out to my spouse in 2004. It was rough. She had no problem accepting it, but she was pissed I'd waited nine years. I do not blame her.

In 2005, I tried to kill myself again and came really close to closing the deal. What was the cause? My years of compulsive shopping and horrible money management drove us into bankruptcy. I had a complete mental breakdown and took a lot of pills. It was painful and terrifying.

Let me be clear to the people in the back, ahem, ATTEMPTING SUICIDE IS PAINFUL AND TERRIFYING!

Not related to my sexuality or suicidal tendencies (I hope my Gen X friends appreciate that reference), I had my final nervous breakdown (to date) and sought psychiatric help. Medication and therapy have kept me more or less stable.

So where do I stand now? I'm good. I'm comfortable with my sexuality, and I'm not actively suicidal.

I know the saying is common these days, but remember, it gets better.